Returned back to Dharamsala today from Amritsar, Martyn has filled you in on the details of splendour and history. I however can tell you about my personal experiences of a busy Indian city from the point of view of a white woman.
I've read in many guidebooks and novels about the treatment of women in Indian culture; we went to a lecture from a leading feminist last week who also spoke at length on the topic. India is once again the country of opposites, as with anywhere there is domestic abuse, yet brides are revered as some of the most beautiful and important women. Women in rural areas generally don't work they look after the children and household, yet a strong female prime minister has been elected. Tourists are welcomed as an excellent source of income, yet when white women visit they are treated as eye candy, a piece of meat, or worse.
Walking through the bustling streets of Amritsar under the shadow of the Golden Temple, the holiest place on the planet for Sikhs, men openly stare as a procession of white (predominantly female) tourists walk by trying to jostle their way through the crowd to the next destination.
The staring is a shock, even after all my reading, I expected some staring as I am different but the intensity and frequency were more than I could ever imagine. At home to stare at anybody is rude, yet if you challenge these men by staring back they don't avert their eyes or seem apologetic, they smile. White women are still a novelty and the locals love it.
We visited the memorial gardens of the site where over 1000 men, women and children were slaughtered by the British. A sobering visit to say the least, yet instead of locals taking in their history they came to me. At first it was a couple of people who wanted me to hug their mum, but eventually it was essentially a queue. Young boys took photos on their smart phones, women came and shook my hand. One woman even thrust a screaming infant into my arms for a photo! It was overwhelming, even when people weren't coming up to me everyone was staring and whispering. Privacy and personal space had gone out the window.
I never felt completely comfortable in this holy city. It was packed. Thousands of people pound the streets every day and it seemed that most of those thousands also wanted to see me, touch me, have a photo, hear me say hello for the hundredth time or just wave. It was draining, emotionally and physically. It became easier to cover my head with my dupatta (headscarf, remember?) and walk. This wasn't the best solution, I feel I've missed a fair few sights this way and from the welcome I received I won't be going back to find what I've missed.
Returning to Dharamsala felt like home. The locals talk to me and smile, not because they want to lech but because they are interested. The feeling could not be further from Amritsar, yet it's only 150km away.
We take for granted the rights women have at home. I don't think I will anymore...
Hi Jess, I can see and understand that this was difficult and distressing for you. Two little stories for comparison: 1. In Port Harcourt Nigeria I visited the local church. Dead easy getting the taxi from the Compound to the church. But when I'd finished I walked onto the Main Street to hail a taxi. Suddenly it hit me, I was different to everyone around and there was a lot of staring at the man who obviously wasn't a local. It wasn't racist or my thing like that, but clearly there was a difference. I like to think I'm a little more tolerant in reverse situations. 2. In Rio, Brazil Cat and the boys would have lots of people of all classes, professions, status wanting to touch the boys blond hair.
ReplyDeleteThe final part of the story was that the hair touching wasn't malevolent, it was just that blond hair was seen as good luck. Brazilians from business men to street beggars wanted to have a bit of the boys luck. It took Cat a long time to get used to it, especially if out on her own with the boys. Obviously you have to be street wise and take care of yourself, but your feelings are completely understandable! Hope the bad weather isn't affecting you too much. Don't know if my ramblings have helped or not?
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